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Why I am Grateful to my Inner & the Outer Trump Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Donald

Image from 1964 movie, Dr. Strangelove, of Major TJ Kong riding the bomb down to the ground.
Credit: public domain,, Dr. Strangelove, movie, 1964. Major TJ Kong riding the bomb down.

The funny thing is, Donald Trump has turned into a lightning rod for all of our hopes and fears, hasn’t he? Hope, that together we can overcome the cabal, which is what his voters apparently believed; and fears, of the hate that filled his campaign. The thing is, Donald Trump is so meaningful in our culture. We’re learning from the position we’ve put him in as a country and either waking up or sleeping deeper.

We are in a great state of flux, which is the perfect state for prayer receptivity.

Thank you, Mr. Donald J. Trump, for calling up the fear and judgment so I could see it for what it is and release it. I believe this is the nature of the awakening the whole country is going through right now. His supporters have just delivered a giant middle finger to the Establishment and his detractors have to struggle with the feelings brought to the surface of consciousness by the hate he expressed during the campaign. Now, I believe, he is sincerely seeking true guidance, and our prayers for him right now, I believe, will serve him well. We don’t need you to be president, Mr. Donald, but we do need you to be happy and do what brings your soul peace.

We can be in a total love state by letting go of Judgment, which is the mechanism of the ego, for it brings separation and loneliness as well as a feeling of “special.” By letting go of self-judgment, we become aware of our God-selves or souls, the piece of Mother-Father God that we are, and then we get to decide – freely – whether to be in love or not. Letting go of self-judgment is how to flip the switch to unconditional love. And it all starts with the self because we are the only ones we truly have any control over. And to the extent that we do have control, it is whether to choose love or fear, which = judgment.

This election is our opportunity for a national and Planetary Awakening. And I am observing that we are taking that opportunity! I am seeing “normal” Americans choose an identity beneath their American-ness and find their spirituality, who they are apart from the election or its potential consequences. Who they are no matter what.

And it is high time, dontcha think?

Well, that is a matter of judgment, I think, because this country has been the most mind-controlled by the cabal of any other. So we’ve had the most to throw off. And that’s exactly what we’re doing! But this election is not just a giant finger; it’s a giant hand in the form of a stop sign saying We’ve had enough of being pushed around, manipulated, and lied to by the global elite. And that’s You-know-Who, isn’t it? They who shall not be named if they have anything to do with it?

But maybe they don’t have so much to do with it anymore. Maybe the Harry Potter generation has moved its elders to action – finally! And DJT is just the tip of the iceberg that is popping up from below the surface, waiting for melting love.

My NeverTrump disparate parts of me are now racing to get a job – and recognition – from my Inner Trump. His very allure has successfully magnetized my negative aspects, the only possible way I could see them for who/what they are. Because I am recognizing my Inner Trump and holding him to the Light through unconditional love, I am finding the gifts in all my own negativity. The biggest gift of all in fully embracing my shadow is that I get to release all the physical stress I have been holding all my life because it’s this unrecognized force that’s been cracking the whip. Recognizing it with love releases it.

And that’s why my spiritual freedom depends on unconditional self-love and why all my disparate Trump selves are running to the Glass Tower: to quick! Quick! Awaken as fast as I can! Thus the temptation to constantly “give in” to my shadow side: It is continually calling on me for recognition so I can bring it to the Light and heal it, healing myself. Therefore it creates all these scenarios in my life where I am forced to deal with it as an awakened person. Because we know, don’t we, how powerful unacknowledged forces in our sub-conscious are in creating a reality we do not want, don’t we?

No less than three writers in my purview yesterday wrote about why are our shadow sides so powerful and apparently attractive? Here are a couple:

By Anakhanda Shaka Mushaba:


People seem to be powerfully attracted to the negative. You can say 10 billion good things about a person and all the good that they have done, and yet, say just 1, simply 1 bad thing about that same person and that will take precedence and spread like wild fire and no one will ever care or focus on the 10 billion good things that person did. It would be as if they were always this evil negative person all of their lives. Why is this? I ask you to think about it.

Wes Annac, Perfection, Temptation to Feed the Shadow Self

What is it about our flaws that can drive us away from the path we intend to walk?

accept and get used to the fact that we all have a shadow side. Then, we can stop blaming others for theirs while refusing to look at our own.

Transformation can occur at the deepest level of your being when you take an honest look at yourself, so don’t hesitate to explore the negative aspects of your personality. Like the positive, they make you who you are. Once you heal them, you’ll never forget their vital role in your evolution.

I have been thinking about it. Because this shadow side has practically ruled my life; I feel like I’ve always been battling with its constant insistence on running me, on defining me as a craven, limited being who can only survive by ruling my world! The self-hating voice that I still battle! The Course in Miracles defines this self-hating voice as the ego, which makes total sense to me, but why would hatred be so attractive, especially when I have dedicated my life to Loving God? Why indeed?

SUCH an interesting question!

And let me just preface my answer with the alarming truth: I have prayed and prayed, exhorted God, yelled at Him, surrendered this voice, done everything I possibly could to let go of it. Nothing. I have decided that it’s not God’s job to deal with this voice; it’s mine. And I’ve realized that’s because of the very nature of being a sovereign divine Being of Love: It is my responsibility to deal with my own creations, and I created this voice!

Taking responsibility for this voice is perhaps the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Because who wants to take responsibility for such darkness and the harm that it has caused? Motherhood, bless my daughter, has shown me beyond a “shadow” of a doubt that these feelings come from me and no other. Yes, they were definitely implanted at one time or another, and that is literally my cross to bear, but they have become part of me now and I am the one that must continually deal with them. I ask for forgiveness a lot. Very humbling, motherhood is!

My definition of enlightenment in this life for myself is the release of the physical tension that has run my body for the whole of it. This tension marks the foundational reality of my body for this life. There are reasons for it, horrible tortures I endured as a child, but no amount of healing or prayer or God-consciousness has removed it. Yet. But I’ve had flashes.

The latest flash came while considering the original question: why is it that the negativity is so darn compelling?

And I felt a flash of this physical release, which was directly related – I saw again – to unconditionally loving my shadow self, which is as unnervingly mean and nasty as the Donald has been.

And so, to get at this voice, my public/private inner Trump, I must continue to unconditionally love my shadow self. I know now, due to the flashes of insight, that when I finally wrap my lasso of consciousness around this voice, through unconditional love and acceptance, and see its outlines, I will finally welcome and accept into my inner love being my shadow self, which has caused me and others so much harm.

And my intent to heal and love unconditonally is calling it and all my disparate shadow self-lets to come home, come home to Donald, allow them back in, welcome them like the divine fools and prodigal sons and daughters that they are; turn the other cheek and love them, forgive them unconditionally – only then will I be Whole and complete and One with God.

It is literally the magic of the third dimension that affords us this opportunity to split up and then come back together again. I’m not sure yet why this process is so important, or so holy in its necessity, but I trust it now. That is a huge breakthrough for me: I trust the path of the third dimension to lead me Home.

My Inner Trump is calling all its little bullies in my consciousness to come Home, it’s time for dinner. Mother-Father God want my whole self, because the shadows are merely pieces of light hidden by a reflection. It is my job to see through or remove the reflection and allow the Light of my own consciousness teamed up with God’s through my intent to illuminate everything, corral it, and Welcome it Home.

My little bullies are calling for their own recovery by showing up in my life as temptations to my dark side! To deal with them I have to acknowledge them. Can’s see them if they’re hidden! Can’t work with them if I can’t see their outlines! Calling out for love: ACIM: Everything is love or a call for love (A Course in Miracles).

We’ve been trained by our macro-Judeo-Christian roots to repress our shadow selves as an act of will instead of embrace them as an act of loving transmutation.

And, oh yes, a word to Steve: Don’t worry, you have not lost your memory; you have merely lost your mind. As you relate in

"On Losing One’s Memory and Enjoying it, Steve Beckow, 11/18/2016,"

Back in 1995, I had an outbreak of colitis and was put on a really deadly regimen of Prednizone. If the colitis didn’t kill me, I thought the Prednizone would.

I lost my memory as a side effect. And, as a configuration-management administrator in a large software firm, I was the collective memory of the production side of our company – the keeper of hardware and software baselines for the different product “builds.” I was paid to remember.

Now, flash forward to these present times, when I again have lost my memory (many others at the Sedona gathering have also lost theirs, we all discovered), I’m in an entirely-different situation.

Now, I understand that it’s being done to release me from Third Dimentia.

In order to 100% commit to Spirit, we have to leave the world behind. That usually means leaving behind that part of our minds that corresponds to the world, which is really the ego.

We have to give it up so we can later find that part of it that is our servant, no longer our master. We have to let it go so that it may become our servant! So what comes back to us is our healed ego in service to our journey with God. (You introduced me to the invaluable term, “Third Dimentia,” Steve, for which I thank you immensely. I plan to use it often, and will continue attributing it to you, for it is a very useful term.)

Loving our shadow selves is the only way to be free of them. Otherwise they clamor for our attention almost to the exclusion of all else. Love is the ONLY way to free ourselves. It is also the only way to remedy any dark energies trying to control us, the Dementors* that suck our good feelings out of us.

Love is absolutely the only way we can access our souls, who are the Great Intendors, the part of us that makes soul decisions and clears any attraction to negative energies – because our regular personalities have brought it to the surface of consciousness.

Just as my pain used to lead me down the path of my own consciousness, now it’s my shadow. Inexorable. Rising up through layers of unconsciousness, which would almost by definition be fear.

I realized that I was judging myself. I am a parent and mess up frequently. It is my bane.

The pain of messing up so much led me again to realizing, although this time on a much deeper level, that I had to stop thinking in terms of good/bad, right/wrong, that that thinking was imprisoning me and had been for a long time. So I ticked the switch and let go of self-judgment and found in its place my sovereign God-being in charge! (“Sovereign” being the opposite of what I know for myself is my own inclination to give my power away, as I did so many lifetimes before. This almost overpowering desire is fueled by and attracts entities that wish me to do exactly that.)

It became evident that it was totally up to me whether or not I decided to love myself anyway – whether I was a “good” parent or not! And it wasn’t my ego self in charge, either.

It was me, sovereign soul self, Piece of God, Divine Shard.

I was in charge.

That meant, I was free to love myself anyway, even if I wasn’t perfect, which I’m not.

Which also involves letting go of my idea of perfection and allowing my Divine Self Its purview without any self-judging strictures from my mind!

Letting go of self-judgment revealed my Divine ability to choose how I treat myself.

*Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Film by Stanley Kubrick. 1964. Photo credit this site as well.

Ruth Virginia Barton, September 24, 2016, www.PeaceWorx.US/blog-1

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